One Letter
by MoonlitxAngel
Summary: A year ago today he'd taken his life... He'd left his friends behind and again Odd was reading the letter left behind to remember why... To remember why his best friend had taken his own life... Rated T for character death mentioned/suicide. Hinted UxO
1. Odd

_**One Letter**_

_** A/N: Alright, so this just randomly popped into my head and I've been working on it a lot. X3 If you guys want to read the other's parts then let me know. =3 I'll let you know the rest at the end, so read that author's note down there after the story! X3**_

_** To the story! X3**_

__Today was a busy day at Kadic Academy. It was time for the spring exams and everyone, except for a certain blonde, was in their room studying the material for their upcoming tests.

"C'mon Kiwi, we're going on a walk…" Odd Della Robbia told his small dog, grabbing his leash out of the drawer he kept it in. He also grabbed a sheet of paper and made his way out to the woods surrounding the school.

_Dear Everyone (I guess),_

Those were the words written on the top of the paper. Once every few months Odd did this… His friends had gotten used to his random disappearances. They knew he'd always come back… Too much to live for, they assumed…

The letter Odd held was very short. It was typed and double-spaced for every line on the page. It looked more like a poem or a song than what it really was…

_No one really knows what anyone else is going through…_

_We could have… You could have told us… _Odd thought to himself. No matter how many times he read that letter he always felt and thought the same things… He always read it like the first time… The feelings were much stronger and hit him like a brick wall… Helplessness… Loss… Pain…

_Whether their parents are supportive…_

…

_Or not…_

Over-supportive or under-supportive… Considering who this was from it was probably the latter… Through a lot of the letter his friend's thoughts seemed scattered… Like he was trying to write to someone else…

The parents of his now deceased friend had known about something that they didn't… It could be what they'd found out that cool and rainy spring night…

_**=Flashback=**_

_** "He wrote us this…" Odd had whispered, Aelita and Yumi were too upset behind him to speak… They'd stuck to Ulrich's final wish…**_

_** "We should have known…" his friend's Dad had whispered, hugging his crying wife close after reading the letter.**_

_** "Wh-What do you mean?" Aelita asked them through the tears rolling down her cheeks.**_

_** "You wouldn't understand…" the man replied as he handed the note back to Odd. "It's addressed to you. Keep it."**_

_**=End Flashback=**_

__He wished that they had elaborated, but they'd refused to tell and anytime one of them brought it up the subject was quickly changed…

_They don't understand that one poke..._

…

_One jibe…_

…

_One small little joke…_

…

_Can kill…_

Odd continued walking through the woods and toward the Hermitage… Was he the reason his friend had died…? Was that small statement there meant specifically for him? It couldn't be… Could it?

After the fight with Xana had ended the five friends had spent countless hours reminiscing about the good ol' days, joking, laughing, and cleaning the old house of Franz Hopper's. It had been great for all of them…

As time went by; though, things started to change…

_Do they care? I really doubt it…_

A few months after the supercomputer was shut down they'd all forgotten something tremendously important to all of them… They'd celebrated his birthday (and everyone else's for that matter) before, so why'd they have to forget now? Small things built and built… They'd created a wall that no one could get through around their friend… Three weeks after his birthday he'd committed suicide…

_Parents… Friends… Classmates…_

…

_They can't know what I've done…_

To this day it was still hard for Odd to know exactly what the boy had been talking about…What else had he done other than saving the human race from a computer virus? No one had any ideas on what he'd meant… His last days he'd barely spoken a word to anyone… He had claimed that he wasn't feeling well. Odd and Aelita hadn't bought it.

When Odd and Kiwi finally started walking into the Hermitage after standing at its gate for a good ten minutes Odd decided that once inside he'd lay down on the floor and stare at the ceiling. The entire house was a bit cleaner than before… They planned on painting once they got the money…

_A secret hero… A child in disguise…_

In the beginning they'd thought he'd been playing a joke. That it was someone else that had jumped off the Factory roof… He couldn't have killed himself, they told themselves. Sure, he wasn't the happiest person in the world, but he definitely wasn't one to become a statistic.

Kiwi began barking and Odd looked over t o see Sissi standing in the doorway.

"Hey…" Odd muttered, returning his gaze to the letter… and the ceiling.

_The truth can set you free…_

"We're all worried about you, y'know," Sissi told him, situating herself near him on the floor.

"I'm not going to hurt myself again. I won't be killing myself either. I've told you. I refuse to fall like that."

"I know you won't… I trust you. We all do, but we have a right to worry about you…"

Odd's thoughts were briefly brought back to the letter and came to something. "What do you think he meant by 'the truth will set you free'?"

_Or bind you all the tighter…_

"I'm not sure… Most of the letter is written like he's hiding something… Something that he doesn't want us all to know, but is trying to convey in an off the wall sort of way. Thinking that he's getting it out, but knowing that no one will understand.

Odd nodded and began petting Kiwi as he held the letter in the other hand. "I'm glad that you joined the group. It's kind of funny how these things work out," he said with a small smile.

She nodded and returned his smile. "Oh, Aelita wants us all to meet at the Factory around six. I guess she wants to have a little memorial party or something…"

"That's Aelita for you. I like the idea, though… I'll be there. I need to get back to Kiwi's walk. I'll see you later."

_The truth needs to be a lie… For sanity's sake…_

By this part in the letter Odd always knew that he had some part in his friend's death… Re-reading the letter like it was the first time was killer, but also quite necessary… All the emotions from that one night came flooding back to him. Lust… Love… Longing… Fear… Pain… The truth had to be bound tightly for his sake… He had to pretend the truth was a lie…

Odd had tried to talk to him, but he refused to listen and said that it had been a lapse of his better judgment. The kiss was a lie… For sanity's sake…

_I was a hero…_

Apparently in his books heroes couldn't be gay or bi or whatever the two may have been… He wasn't even sure… Had they both been momentarily bi and now he was straight again? No, he refused to believe that…

_A Lyoko Warrior…_

Did he doubt that he was one of them? Maybe he had… Odd wouldn't know… After that night he wouldn't look Odd in the eyes… He had done everything he could to avoid the blonde… He changed his schedule and made sure that Odd and him didn't see each other at all… He'd even switched rooms… No Xana to stop him and he even stopped sitting with them at lunch…

Had he really been that ashamed of that one kiss that it had pushed him over the edge…?

_Protector of those around me…_

…

_They didn't know…_

Odd left the house and continued Kiwi's walk. He knew that he should talk to his friends later about everything and all that he was feeling… If he didn't tell them how he felt he knew the guilt would eat him alive... Hopefully telling the truth didn't bind him like it had his friend…

Thinking back on what his friend's parents had said when Odd had shown them the letter made Odd come to an important conclusion. He had told them he and Odd had kissed and they must have made a huge deal out of it…

"Hey Odd," Yumi said as she walked closer, shoving something in her pocket. Odd did the same.

"Hey… Can you tell the others that I have something important that I want to talk about at our little memorial party later?" he asked as he bent over to pet Kiwi.

"You're not cutting again, right?" she asked with an arched eyebrow, scrutinizing his arms.

"No, I-"

"Let me see your arms," she told him bluntly, interrupting the blonde.

Odd rolled his eyes and then pulled up his sleeves and pants' legs to show her that there were no marks except for old scars.

Yumi all of a sudden came forward and hugged him tightly. "Good, I wouldn't be able to stand it if we lost you, too…"

He hugged her back and said, "I wouldn't do that…"

Once Yumi pulled away she said, "I need to go to the Factory… Aelita wanted my help to get ready…"

_Guardian angels in human skin…_

…

_Watching and protecting…_

…

_Share with others the joys in your life…_

"One more hug before you go?" he asked, his arms spread out and a grin plastered on his face.

Yumi shook her head and gave a small laugh. "Sorry Odd, but the Princess awaits and you can't leave her alone too long anymore."

His smile fell and he nodded, "Yeah, or else she starts thinking about him and crying. Then it takes forever to calm her down…"

Yumi nodded. "Don't keep stuff bottled up, okay?"

Odd smiled to show that he agreed and headed back toward the school.

_Else you'll drift away…_

Keeping things light and happy was harder than usual for Odd. Normally it came easily, but that was when his friends, all of them, were around… All of them hadn't been together for a year to that day…

When Odd returned to his room he laid down on the bed that had belonged to his best friend…

_Never forget me…_

-Ulrich Stern

"You'll never be forgotten, buddy…"

"We'll never forget you…"

"You're always in my heart…"

"We're always thinking about you…

_**A/N: the '*' are to show that there needs to be more space between that. XD I'm hoping that they stay. XD So, do you guys want me to do something where Yumi, Aelita, and Jeremie are each separately reading the letter? I'm already writing when Ulrich was writing the letter himself. =3 Almost done, too. XD Umm… This took me awhile to write because I wanted to convey stuff right. =3 Also, here at the end after Odd said something after the ending of the letter that was Aelita, Yumi, and Jeremie (not in that order, I think) saying basically the same thing as Odd as the four were all reading the letter at the exact same time. XD**_

_** Read and review!**_

_**~MoonlitxAngel**_


	2. Ulrich

_**Ulrich**_

_** A/N: These will each be named for the person that's the main focus. So yeah, this one is Ulrich's. XD Next person will probably be… Aelita. The order of the people speaking in last chapter after reading the letter was: Odd, Aelita, Yumi, and Jeremie. I'll probably have three chapters after this one. XD One for Yumi, one for Aelita, and one for another thing that I have planned. Okay so probably four, so adding another chapter for another thing that I have planned. =3**_

_** To the story!**_

__He knew that this was going to be difficult… He needed one letter that would explain to each of them individually why he did what he was about to do when he wasn't there to explain. He'd work on it all night and during classes… That would be their last chance to save him…

_Dear Everyone (I guess)…_

That was how the end would begin… The first two lines he wanted to be aimed toward his friends and parents… No one really knew what he was going through and he didn't know about them, so that would be first…

_No one really knows what anyone else is going through…_

The first sentence was the reason he was doing this… Kids teased him after the incident with Odd and he'd vowed to deny it… It had to be a lie… Kadic's star soccer player couldn't be that way… His parents had made a huge deal about it and been really mad.

_**=Flashback=**_

_** "I forbid you from talking to those worthless good-for-nothings ever again. I won't allow them to change you," his father commanded into the phone.**_

_** "They're not changing me! This is always who I've been, Dad!" Ulrich shouted angrily. "Not everything that you think is wrong with me is their fault."**_

_** "Most gay athletes get cut from the team. Do you want that, Ulrich?" his dad asked, his voice raised.**_

_** Ulrich was silent. That was all his dad cared about… "Dad, parents are supposed to be supportive. All you're worried about is your image. Now, either give Mom back the phone or I'm hanging up."**_

_**=End Flashback=**_

__Remembering that day and the day he'd told him mom about hurt… His dad had hung up on him then told the principal that he wanted Ulrich in his own room and his schedule changed so he didn't see Odd.

_Whether their parents are supportive…_

…

_Or not…_

After the changes in routine Ulrich's grades plummeted to an all-time low. Why did his grades matter anymore? If his grades continued getting worse and worse maybe his dad would realize his mistake… He wanted to hangout with his friends, but that didn't seem to be possible… He wanted to apologize to Odd…

He laid down on his bed, the unfinished letter on his desk, and thought about what next.

After six minutes a conversation with Aelita was brought to the front of his mind. After the stuff with Odd happened Aelita had been the only person he'd told about it… He explained how confused he felt and how he assumed his parents would react to the news… The day after, everyone at Kadic knew and Odd hadn't told. He'd been with Jeremie all day studying. To this day he still had no idea who'd told… He made his decision for the next lines of the letter…

_They don't understand that one poke…_

…

_One jibe…_

…

_One small little joke…_

…

_Can kill…_

That was the truth… Kids at school were cruel and wouldn't look him in the eye…

_Do they care? I really doubt it…_

If they cared how their words hurt other people they wouldn't do it… They wouldn't try to hurt someone like that…

Having Milly and Tamiya around didn't help. They were trying to get an interview for the latest scoop. Gay soccer star or lying phony?

After they posted that in the newspaper the brunette knew it was over… 3 weeks ago tomorrow that had been in the Kadic news. That day had also happened to be his birthday. Nice present, huh? If he pretended it hadn't happened then they all might drop it…

_Parents, friends, classmates… They can't know what I've done…_

For the past week he'd been cutting himself… He'd seriously considered telling is parents and getting help… He just couldn't do it, though…

Lyoko had meant a lot to him… He was important to people… His friends thought of him as a hero and he got to do something that almost no one else did… He'd only voted yes to shutting down the supercomputer because he felt out of place not doing so…

_A secret hero… A child in disguise…_

That's what they all were…

What would have happened if he'd told people about Lyoko? If he told them the truth, what would their reactions be?

If he told his friends probably would have hated him… With the supercomputer off there wasn't a lot that could be done…

But apparently…

_The truth can set you free…_

If the truth can set you free then why was he being bound? His dad had been majorly desperate to keep him from his friends. The teachers watched him like hawks during classes and lunch period. Occasionally Jim would follow him around school trying to be inconspicuous.

His friends were not good-for-nothings. They meant a lot to him… by telling the truth; though, life became a prison with only one escape…

_Or bind you all the tighter…_

Ulrich felt like he was going to go insane as he walked out to the forest… classes were finally over. Right now he needed to be alone.

"Ulrich, are you alright…?" someone asked softly from behind him.

He turned to see Aelita holding Kiwi's leash and Odd coming up behind her.

"We haven't seen you around much and were worried… You look upset…" she said as she walked up to him.

"Just not feeling well," he replied bluntly, making sure that Jim wasn't around anywhere.

"You look more like someone kicked you in the face," Odd stated as he came up next to Aelita.

"Shows what you know," he growled, standing up. "Forget about me and find someone else, Odd."

"You just think you're so big, don't you? You think that you can just push people around or toy with them, huh? Is that why you've been ignoring us and everything? You messed with us and now you're done so we're dead to you?" Odd shouted, getting into his face.

He'd never seen Odd this angry. He tried to focus, to return Odd's glare, but he couldn't help but think that Odd looked cute angry. He shook his head, trying to clear the thought from his mind.

"We all get that you're going through something and that you want to be left alone, but you can talk to us if you need to," Aelita told him, elbowing Odd.

""I'm sorry, but I can't…" he told her, running deeper into the forest. If they really cared they'd follow him… This was their last chance to save him… He waited and waited, but they blew it… They never showed up calling his name…

Ulrich knew the truth. He was gay and in love with Odd, but he needed to pretend that it was a lie… It had to be… He loved Yumi, didn't he? Maybe he was bi? He didn't know… It was so confusing…

_The truth needs to be a lie… For sanity's sake…_

The next lines would be for Yumi. She was definitely someone special to him, but she'd taken his escape… On Lyoko he'd always been a hero… They saved the world countless times… Back then he could have gotten ahold of them or done a return to the past to stop his dad…

_I was a hero…_

…

_A Lyoko Warrior…_

…

_Protector of those around me…_

…

_They didn't know…_

If the world knew that five teenagers had saved them countless times they'd have never believed it…

He probably would have been admitted to the hospital and labeled insane…

_Guardian angels in human skin…_

…

_Watching and protecting…_

So few people knew the real Ulrich Stern… He always locked everything away…

_Share with others the joys in your life…_

Ulrich folded the sheet of paper and placed it in his pocket. He needed to climb to the top of the Factory's roof and didn't want to risk losing it…

When he got up there he sat and thought about what his end words would be…

Lying on his back he studied the sky… It was beginning to get dark…

He knew that everything would just continue to be too much… His dad would continue to judge, he wouldn't be able to see his friends anymore, and the entire school would either be cruel, afraid or angry that he'd lied…

Maybe, just maybe, he was taking it too far… Maybe, just maybe, things would change…

He was too far into this plan to back out… Nothing was going to change and that was that…

_Else they'll drift away…_

…

_Never forget me…_

-Ulrich Stern

He laid the paper down and placed a rock on top of it.

He stepped toward the edge of the roof and was about to jump when he was Delmas's car drive up. Mr. Delmas, Odd, Aelita, and Jeremie all got out of the car.

A lone tear slid down his cheek as he whispered, "Good-bye…" He jumped.

-Break-

Aelita sobbed against Jeremie as Odd ran to the water t oget Ulrich, hoping the brunette was alive.

"Yes, there's been a suicide attempt at the old abandoned factory just outside the city. One of my students, Ulrich Stern, has just jumped off the roof," Mr. Delmas said into his phone.

"He'll get through this Aelita…" Jeremie comforted her, hugging her close.

"The paramedics and police are on their way," Mr. Delmas said as Odd swam up with Ulrich.

"You know what you and his dad pulled could be taken as racism? Or do you and the other teachers ignore the Kadic News or your own children?" Odd shouted as he threw his soaked shirt aside and began wringing out his hair instead of hurting the old man.

"I do not have the time nor do I have the teachers, Mr. Della Robbia, to keep a constant watch on one specific student. I don't have much liking for the school newspaper, but I allow it and Sissi told me nothing. What are you talking about?" Delmas asked angrily at first, but then calmer.

"So, the principal of the damned school knows nothing about his students," Odd stated, patting Aelita's back in a comforting way.

Jeremie got down on the ground and began looking for Ulrich's pulse. "Definitely a pulse, but he's barely breathing," Jeremie told them.

Mr. Delmas was on the phone againtalking to the person he'd left in charge at school and then Ulrich's parents.

Seconds later the ambulance pulled up and paramedics loaded the brunette onto a stretcher.

(-) Hospital (-)

It was getting late and Aelita had fallen asleep earlier as she cried on Jeremie's shoulder.

"Will you tell me what you meant earlier, Della Robbia?" Mr. Delmas asked gently as Mr. and Mrs. Stern reentered the waiting room.

"The night before you moved Ulrich from our room we'd kissed. I can't speak on his behalf, but I'm gay. He didn't object and Aelita told me he was confused. Meaning that he could have been gay, too. And that means that you could be seen as being racist," Odd explained, the anger still in his words.

"My poor baby boy…" Mrs. Stern cried into her husband's shoulder.

"If I'd known that then things would have been set-up much differently. Now, Mr. Stern, what did the doctor say?" Mr. Delmas asked, dropping the subject.

Odd huffed as he dropped back down into his chair and mumbled incoherent things to himself angrily.

"It's highly unlikely he'll make it through the night… He may have done it himself, but he had multiple cuts down his arms and legs that re-opened when he made contact with the water. If he does make it through this the doctors say that there's a good chance he'll be paralyzed from the waist down," he replied, holding his wife tightly.

"If he makes it through this you guys better treat him right or you'll have me to answer to," Odd told them through clenched teeth.

"Is that a treat?" Mr. Stern asked angrily.

Jeremie knew what was coming next and almost joined Odd in saying it.

"That's not a threat, sir, that's a promise."

-Break-

Aelita yawned and wiped the sleep from her eyes. She looked around drowsily and saw Mr. Delmas and Ulrich's parents sleeping, but didn't see Jeremie or Odd.

"G'morning, Princess…" Jeremie said as he walked up and handed her a coffee and a bagel. "I thought you'd be getting up soon."

"Is there any news on Ulrich?" she asked after thanking him for the breakfast.

"They won't tell us anything till Delmas or his parents get up... They can only tell close family members or Delmas since he's Ulrich's principal.

"Has anyone told Yumi yet?" Aelita asked as Odd entered the room and sat down next to her, resting his head on her shoulder.

"I called her, but she didn't pick up so I left her a message basically saying that Ulrich tried to commit suicide and the doctor's don't think he'll live. I asked her to call me back as soon as she could.

"I hope that his dad ends up in some sort of trouble… He's the reason that Ulrich ended up here…" Odd stated a bit of anger still evident in his voice.

""Wouldn't it then be partially our fault? Think about it. After he had his classes and room assignments changed we looked for him, but we gave up… He may have thought we gave up on him. He was at lunch and we never talked to him after he ignored us…" Aelita whispered, fresh tears falling from her face, quickly and silently, as Mr. Stern woke up.

"Ulrich's doctor is looking for you…" Jeremie stated. He waited till the man was out of earshot to continue. "I think that all five of us were afraid to hear what the others had to say… Aelita and I were afraid he'd say he hated us all and that we ruined his life. Yumi was afraid to hear that he hated her and didn't love anymore. Odd-"

"I thought that he thought I was gross because of what we did that night… I was afraid to hear that he was grossed out and sick and didn't want to be friends or even speak with me anymore…" Odd whispered, hugging his knees.

A few minutes later Mr. Stern came back and woke up Mr. Delmas and his wife. They quickly talked then Mr. Delmas walked over to the kids.

"What the news?" Jeremie asked, hopeful that it was good, but by the look of Mr. Delmas's face… He was probably wrong…

There was a brief pause and they all knew what Mr. Delmas was going to say… "I'm sorry, but he died just thirty minutes ago…"

"There was really nothing they could do…"

"If we'd gotten there sooner he'd still be alive…" Odd whispered, hugging his knees close.

(*) A Few Days Later (*)

"There's something up there, I tell ya!" Odd yelled to Jeremie, Yumi, and Aelita as they headed for the roof of the Factory.

"And I'm telling you there's nothing. I searched up there yesterday and the day before," Jeremie told him as Odd started walking.

"And you're eyesight isn't the best, now is it, Einstein?" Odd replied indignantly as the four reached the roof.

"You're dragging us all the way up here because you think Jeremie missed something when Delmas wants to talk to us in thirty minutes?" Yumi asked, clearly annoyed.

"Kind of slow on the uptake there," Odd stated as he scrutinized the roof.

"If someone catches us up here I'm going to pummel you. They'll probably think we're going to do what Ulrich did…" Yumi whispered as she began her search.

A few minutes later, after they'd all split up to search different parts of the roof, Odd found four pieces of paper. One was address to each of them. He showed them to the others then read out loud:

Dear Everybody (I guess…),

No one really knows what anyone else is going through…

Whether their parents are supportive …

Or not.

They don't understand that one poke…

One jibe…

One small little joke…

Can kill…

Do they care? I really doubt it…

Parents, friends, classmates… They can't know what I've done…

A secret hero… A child in disguise…

The truth can set you free…

Or bind you all the tighter…

The truth needs to be a lie… For sanity's sake…

I was a hero…

A Lyoko Warrior…

Protector of those around me…

They didn't know…

Guardian angels in human skin…

Watching and protecting…

Share with others the joys in your life…

Else you'll drift away…

Never forget me…

-Ulrich Stern

When Odd finished he looked up through tear-filled eyes to see his friends crying, too…

"I miss him…" Aelita whispered, huddling closer to Jeremie and resting her head on his shoulder.

"Delmas said he'll excuse us for a few days from classes and stuff so that we can go to the funeral and have time to mourn… He told me that we should all stick together…" Jeremie said as he hugged Aelita.

"Let's head back to school…" Yumi said, hugging her three friends lightly and moving them toward the way off the roof…

_**A/N: Longest. Chapter. EVER! I think. XD Almost 3,000 words, though Yumi's definitely won't get this far. It might break 2,000. I'm not sure yet. It took me forever to get in a good place to write this because I couldn't find anywhere that I was able to see. XD Umm… That's all for now and expect Yumi's and then Aelita's and then two or three more after that. X3**_

_** Read and review, please! I'll love you forever!**_

_**~MoonlitxAngel**_


	3. Yumi

_**Yumi**_

_** A/N: Next shall be Aelita and then chapter about The Night everyone keeps referring to and then another one that's contents I'm not sure if I've revealed yet or not so I won't. XD Everyone, please remember that Odd, Yumi, and Aelita's chapters are all a year AFTER Ulrich's suicide. Ulrich's should have been after Aelita, but I felt it flowed better this way.**_

_** Read and review!**_

__She knew she was supposed to be studying, but she couldn't concentrate… It had been a year since he'd died… When his birthday had come nearer she'd taken a few days off school… She couldn't stand being there and having him gone…

Yumi gave up, tossing her pencil onto the desk and slumping back into her chair. Going to school wasn't the same without Ulrich… In that one year so much had changed… For awhile all of their grades had dropped… The event had hurt them all tremendously… School just hadn't felt important to the four any longer…

After Ulrich's suicide Odd had become very distant… None of them really talked, they just sat in silence. A month after Ulrich's death Odd had disappeared for a few hours. No one could find him, but he'd come back saying he had just needed some time to himself… Sometime after that, no one really knew when exactly, Odd had begun cutting himself and a few months ago was when they'd all found out…

The only thing that Jeremie did these days was work on Lyoko. After hearing about how much it had meant to Ulrich they'd decided to turn it back on. Jeremie had kept himself busy trying to find Franz Hopper and fixing up Lyoko. It seemed to mean a lot to the blonde to be working on it again…

Out of the four, Aelita had changed the most… She used to be so cheerful and she'd finally been starting to get back to that until yesterday, when she'd realized what today was…

Even Yumi had changed… She'd quit Pencak Silat, it just wasn't the same without Ulrich around to spar with… It had been a year and the wounds on her heart had yet to heal… She rarely smiled, and even those times the smile was forced…

She strode over to the top drawer of her dresser and grabbed the only thing in there…

_Dear Everybody (I guess…),_

Those were the first words written on the paper… She could tell that he'd lost more and more hope as the letter went on… He started the letter with neat, dark, and easy to read letters. As it went on his writing got sloppier, lighter, smaller, and much harder to read…

She shoved the paper into her pocket and went downstairs. After reassuring her parents she'd be back in one piece, she left and headed toward Kadic.

She had the letter memorized by heart. She read it so much over the past few months… It was the last thing any of them had of the brunette's…

_No one really knows what anyone else is going through…_

No one knew because he hadn't told anyone… If he had told they might have been able to help… They could have been there for him through all those nasty rumors… She knew there was some truth to them since Odd had told them all after Ulrich's death what had happened… The rumors made it sounds like Ulrich had jumped Odd, she had always known that wasn't true, and forced the blonde into some sort of sexual contact… That wasn't something Ulrich would do."Hey Yumi…" a voice said behind her.

She looked over her shoulder to see Jeremie. "Hey, what's up?"

"Call me if you see Odd. He disappeared after dinner last night. I haven't seen him since."

She nodded and said, "Jeremie, he may have just wanted time alone… Today makes it a year and it really hurt him… You know how he feels it's his fault…"

"Yeah… I can't help but look at him and wonder if he'll be the next one of us to die…"

"Everything's going to be okay…" she told him, hugging the younger boy and trying to calm him. He was nearly in tears… "We're all still here to help Odd… Ulrich pushed us away and refused help… It's difficult, but I know that we'll all be alright in a few years…"

"Yeah… I guess you're right… Thanks Yumi… I have to. I'll see you later," he told her the two broke the hug.

She nodded and headed into the forest to read the remainder of the letter. It had been Ulrich's favorite place…

She took it out after sitting and leaning against a tree. When she re-read the letter, after the first time she'd read it herself, she tried to think like Ulrich…

_Whether their parents are supportive..._

…

_Or not…_

Yumi knew what Ulrich's dad could be like… If he'd found out Ulrich must have been yelled at a lot… Maybe that's why they had said 'we should've known…'

_They don't understand that one poke…_

…

_One jibe…_

…

_One small little joke…_

…

_Can kill…_

Kids could be cruel… To this day no one had come clean about spying on Ulrich and Odd that night… It had been difficult for Ulrich… She knew he'd talked to Aelita about it… He'd felt so torn… He didn't know what he felt for Odd, but he'd known he'd liked her…

When the rumors started it must have smashed his heart into a million pieces… Knowing Ulrich he wouldn't have wanted them to suffer because of him…

_Do they care? I really doubt it…_

Back then no one else had thought about how their rumors had affected him…

Yumi pushed herself off the ground and walked to the cemetery that wasn't too far… That's where Ulrich's body was buried… His parents wanted him to be close and they'd move even moved so they were closer, too…

She knelt down and looked at the gravestone. She liked keeping Ulrich up-to-date, even if he was dead…

"It's been a year already, Ulrich… When I woke up this morning and saw the date I cried… I'm re-reading the letter you left us… I wish you would have understood how this would affect us and that we'd miss you like crazy… You meant a lot to our little group and nothing's the same without you…

"Odd's mostly back to normal, but I know he's still hurting… According to Jeremie he hasn't been around since dinner last night.

"I have to go… I love you…" she whispered after a few more minutes of telling him how missed he was. She wiped the tears from her eyes… She could feel Ulrich watching her… Ghost, spirit, or whatever. Ulrich had been listening.

She stood up and saw a small flower growing up from near the gravestone.

She quickly wiped the tears from her eyes and headed back toward the school.

She thought about the next lines of the letter.

_Parents, friends, classmates… They can't know what I have done…_

She couldn't help but wonder what he'd done that no one knew about… He may have wanted someone to stop him, but no one had…

_A secret hero… A child in disguise…_

…

_The truth can set you free…_

…

_Or bind you all the tighter…_

She sat down again to think… She had to assume the 'child in disguise' part was a reference to Lyoko… Truthfully, none of them were children anymore. From the day they'd come together to be the Lyoko Warriors they had no longer been children. They'd had the weight of the world on their shoulders… Once you grow up, you can't go back…

It was true that the truth could bind you tightly after you told it. You might feel bad for telling or people could end up hurting you.

By this point she always felt like she was part to blame for Ulrich's death. She realized that they hadn't fought hard enough for the brunette. If they had he might have let them in…

_The truth needs to be a lie… For sanity's sake…_

None of them would ever know if Ulrich had really had feelings for Odd… they never know because he was dead now…

Yumi barely noticed when her phone started ringing and almost missed the call. "Hello?"

"Hi Yumi… Will you come to the Factory and help me set-up for the little memorial party I'm setting up? Aelita asked, her voice sounding like she'd been crying or was about to start again.

"I'm on my way, Princess," she told her in a soothing voice.

"Thanks Yumi…" she whispered. "See you soon…"

"You're welcome. Stay strong, 'kay. And you know all of us will be there for you in a heartbeat if you ask. None of us want you or anyone else to follow Ulrich…"

"I know…"

"Do you want to see that therapist tomorrow? He said that we could come back anytime we needed to…" Yumi knew the truth that no one else knew… For some time now Aelita had been having nightmares about Ulrich's death that wouldn't go away. They reflected what they all thought and knew… each one of them was partially to blame…

"Do you think he can make them go away…?" she asked, the fear etched into her voice.

"That's what they do… I'll be there soon… Do you want me to stay on the phone with you?"

Aelita was silent for a moment then replied, "No, I'll be alright…"

"Call Jeremie and tell him you're alright. He's been worrying about you," she stated. "I have to go, but I'll be there soon… Bye."

"Bye," the pink-haired girl whispered and hung up.

She stood up, a thought of the next lines of the letter brought to her mind…

_I was a hero…_

_A Lyoko Warrior…_

_Protector of those around me…_

…

_They didn't know…_

_Guardian angels in human skin…_

…

_Watching and protecting…_

The first four lines she'd just thought of hurt the most… It seemed to her that he was trying to convince himself of what he was saying, but failed… He must have felt like he wasn't, or didn't deserve to be, a hero… It just seemed to her he was beating himself up…

She pulled out the letter to read the next line.

_Share with others the joys in your life…_

Yumi quickly put the letter in her back pocket as Odd walked toward her. He looked lost…

"Hey Odd," she said, making sure that the note wasn't able to be seen.

"Hey… Can you tell the others that there's something important that I wanna talk about at our memorial party later…?" he asked her as he bent over to pet Kiwi.

Yumi was immediately suspicious. "You're not cutting again, are you?"

"No, I-"

"Let me see your arms," she demanded, placing her own on her hips.

He rolled his eyes and did as she said.

She let out a relieved sigh when she saw no new marks. Yumi hugged him tightly and whispered, "Good, I wouldn't want to lose you, too…"

"I wouldn't ever do that…"

When they broke the hug she said, "I need to get to the Factory… I have to help Aelita get ready…"

_Else they'll drift away…_

"One more hug before you go?" he asked her, his arms spread wide and a goofy grin on his face.

Yumi shook her head and laughed. She knew she couldn't. "Sorry Odd, but the Princess awaits and you can't leave her waiting too long."

Odd's smile fell and he nodded saying, "Yeah, or else she ends up thinking about him and crying… then it takes forever to calm her down…"

Yumi nodded and smiled a little. "Don't keep stuff bottled up, okay?"

He nodded and waved as the two parted.

She sighed as she took the letter from her pocket and read the last lines…

_Never forget me…_

_ -Ulrich Stern_

His last request was one she would and always had filled. She knew that the brunette would always be with her…

"You'll always be in my heart…"


	4. Aelita

_**Aelita**_

_** A/N: I apologize for taking so long in getting this chapter out. ^^"" I have a rough few months. xD Random question before I begin, are any of you out there interested or play the Sims games? More specifically Sims 3? I'm curious because I was thinking about taking the 100 Baby Challenge with it and wanted some opinions. XD I'm a bit apprehensive about it. XD**_

_** Anyway, to the story!**_

"I'm going on a walk," Aelita stated, putting her laptop on Jeremie's bed and stretching. "And you'd better take a break soon."

"Don't worry, Aelita… I'm fine," he told her, not even bothering to look back at her.

"This isn't what he would have wanted, Jeremie!" she found herself shouting at the blonde as she hurriedly left the room and made her way quickly down the hallway.

When she entered her room she locked the door and laid on her bed, looking up at the ceiling. She knew that ever since Ulrich had died that she hadn't been herself. She didn't smile as much anymore and basically kept to herself, with the exception being that she talked to her friends. She knew that they'd all changed, but Jeremie was over-working himself… She knew it wasn't what Ulrich had wanted when he talked about Lyoko…

Aelita felt helpless… Nothing she was doing or trying helped her friends… Odd had been cutting, Yumi was distant, and Jeremie couldn't go two hours without working on Lyoko. She couldn't even help herself… No matter what she did they were all still depressed and the nightmares continued…

She got off her bed and grabbed a sheet of paper from the desk in her room. Leaving the door shut behind her she headed into the forest then out to town. Today marked a year. She wanted to go and visit Ulrich…

When she got to his grave she sat in front of the tombstone and let the tears fall. Her little family was falling apart… "I wish you were here with us…"

She knew that coming here wasn't the best idea… It brought his death to the fore front of her mind… It reminded her that they all played a part in his death… That losing one of her family had been too hard on them all… If she had chased after him the day her and odd had found him in the forest then she might have been able to stop him…

She took the sheet of paper from her pocket and began reading.

_Dear Everyone (I guess…)No one really knows what anyone else is going through…_

_Whether their parents are supportive…_

…

_Or not…_

_They don't understand that one poke…_

…

_One jibe…_

…

_One small little joke…_

…

_Can kill…_

_Do they care? I really doubt it…_

_Parent s, friends, classmates… They can't know what I've done…_

Every time she read the letter by herself she could never read past a certain spot… She was either too upset or something stopped her…

In the beginning of the letter she could tell that Ulrich was confident. She knew he was completely ready to write this letter and was prepared for what it meant. He knew that suicide was the right choice.

By about the middle of the letter, though, his handwriting wasn't as confident. It was sloppy, loose, and very light. It seemed he couldn't push the pencil any harder…

She knew that Ulrich had been hurting… He'd come to her and had ended up sobbing while she was comforting him… She felt now that when they'd talked he'd asked her about things that were in the letter now… He'd needed reassurance and it hadn't been enough…

"Ulrich, I'm so sorry… If I could go back a year from today I would and I'd stop you… I'd tell you about how everyone misses you and how sorry so many people are…" Aelita whispered, grabbing a small flower and burying it near the gravestone.

She stood and wiped the dirt from her knees. As she left the cemetery she saw Yumi, but she didn't see Aelita when she'd waved.

Aelita allowed the forest to swallow her up as she neared it. She didn't know where she was going and after awhile she found herself staring up at the Hermitage.

When she entered her old home a grin spread across her face. Looking at it now, how it had been when he was alive, brought back so many memories… Everything the four had done was still intact and now they just needed to wait to accumulate enough money to do more to the house…

Looking around the sunlit room reminded her that her and Ulrich had cleaned it, just the two of them. They had spent the most time on the old house… Twice as much time as the others…

Aelita looked at the next few lines of the letter as she made her way to the Factory. It was where Ulrich's memorial party was to be held later.

_A secret hero… A child in disguise…_

_The truth can set you free…_

…

_Or bind you all the tighter._

_The truth needs to be a lie… For sanity's sake…_

_I was a hero…_

Aelita wiped the tears from her eyes. She knew that she couldn't do the memorial's set-up by herself and would need Yumi's help… She just couldn't do it alone…

After placing the letter in her pocket, hopefully she'd get past the part she had just read this time, she dialed Yumi's number.

"Hello?" Yumi answered quickly, after it rang three times.

"Hi Yumi… Would you mind coming to the Factory and helping me set-up for the memorial party tonight?" she asked as she tried to hold back the tears that were threatening to falling from her eyes.

"I'm on my way…" Yumi replied softly. The older girl was clearly trying to calm her…

"Thanks Yumi…" she whispered, wanting to get off the phone. "See you soon…"

"You're welcome. Stay strong, okay? And you know, all of us would be there in a heartbeat if you asked. None of us want anyone to end up like Ulrich…"

"I know…" Aelita was sure that her friends cared, but she also understood why Ulrich really did it…

"Do you want to see that psychiatrist/councilor tomorrow? He said we could come back anytime and I can give him a call…" Yumi offered as Aelita gave a small smile. Yumi always knew what she was thinking…

"Do you really think he can make them go away…?" her voice sounded hopeful.

"That's what they do. I'll be there soon. Do you want me to stay on the phone with you?"

Aelita didn't want to talk. She really wanted to finish the letter… "No, I'll be alright."

"Okay, but you have to call Jeremie and tell him you're alright… He's been worried. I have to go now… Bye."

"Bye," she whispered back as she came up on the Factory.

Re-reading the lines she had already read brought back memories of the night that all this had started…. In all truth it seemed to her that Ulrich had liked Odd in that way. He was saying he wanted it to be a lie for the sake of his sanity…

He also seemed to be re-assuring himself that he was a hero… Maybe they'd made him feel like he wasn't…

As she'd thought she'd made it all the way to the roof and sat on its edge. In the beginning, after what happened to Ulrich, they'd heard talk of trying to demolish the Factory… They wanted to make sure that no one would try to copy Ulrich… Jeremie had eventually convinced everyone to leave it alone. No one knew how he did it…

Aelita looked down at the water below her and wondered what it would be like to jump off. She wasn't suicidal, she was just curious. That's what she told herself anyway, but maybe she was… Maybe she was just too afraid to fall into the unknown…

The last line of the letter was brought to the forefront of her mind as she walked away from the edge and toward the lab.

_Never forget me…_

Aelita knew that never, in any lifetime, would she forget Ulrich Stern… When she was married and had kids they would know all her friends… She'd tell them about Lyoko, Grandpa Franz, and of their samurai…

"We'll never forget you…" she whispered as Yumi (followed by Jeremie and Odd) walked in and smiled.

"Let's finish preparing," Yumi told her as Jeremie laid down a box.

Aelita nodded, happy for her friends' company.

_**A/N: I think that as of all them this one is the shortest yet. XD I don't know why, but I have great difficulty when I'm writing for Aelita or Jeremie. XD Sometimes they work with me and sometimes they don't. XD**_

_** Read and review!**_

_**~MoonlitxAngel**_


	5. The Second One

_**The Second One**_

_** A/N: You'll have to read to find out what the chapter title means. XD Don't worry, no one else dies. XD Maybe. XD Anyway, I have to wait till tomorrow (Saturday) to be able to get on the laptop on the internet again, because it's security just expired the other day. XD I have to wait for my dad to start it up again. XD Anyway, hopefully I'll get this one and the next one done tonight. ^^**_

_** To the story!**_

It was just Odd, Aelita, and Kiwi left. They were lying on the Factory roof, looking for different constellations.

"Do you think he knows how much we all miss him?" Aelita asked in barely an audible whisper.

"He knows. Trust me… Every time I visit his grave I feel like he's there… You know, I feel his presence," Odd replied, petting Kiwi behind the ear and smiling at the sky a little.

"Yeah…" she whispered. After a minute or so of silence she quietly said, "We're failures…"

Odd sat up and looked at Aelita sadly. "Why do you think that…?"

Aelita sat up and faced Odd. "We've saved the world countless times before and we couldn't even save one person… He was one of us and we couldn't even help him…"

Kiwi whined and nudged Aelita's arm with his nose.

"We rarely saw him when it happened… He couldn't talk to us and there's no way that a bunch of kids could save everyone…" he whispered, turning his attention back to the sky.

"But why did the one we couldn't save have to be Ulrich? Why did It have to be someone else we were close to?" she cried, tears racing down her face to her chin and from there leaving a dark spot on the roof.

Odd scooted next to her and hugged her tightly. She needed someone to be there for her right now and he understood where she was coming from… It broke his heart every time he thought about Ulrich's death and what lead up to it… "He was on this very same roof when he said good-bye… And he's probably watching over us, don't you think? See, look up at that star right above us… The one that's winking. I like to pick out that star every night that I see it. That star is, and always will be, Ulrich. He's up there watching us," he stated as he pulled Kiwi onto his lap and put his arms behind him so he could look up better.

"Thanks Odd…" she whispered, looking up at the sky with him.

"No problem, Princess…"

(*)(*)(*)(*)Later That Night(*)(*)(*)(*)

He held the white envelope above him and frowned. This was the last thing he had of Ulrich's that had yet to be seen. Delmas had searched everywhere for anything that explained why Ulrich had done what he'd done. Five weeks after his best friend's death, Odd had found the envelope. He'd refrained from opening it and seeing what it held. It was addressed specifically to Odd. If he found out the truth, there would be no turning back. He'd have to deal with the truth or follow in Ulrich's footsteps.

He turned to face Kiwi and asked him in a serious voice, "What do you think, boy? Should I read it?"

Kiwi barked happily once then jumped up on the blond's bed and curled up to sleep.

Odd carefully and slowly opened the envelope and pulled two pieces of composition notebook paper out of it. He knew that this might hurt or bring up bad memories, but started reading anyway:

_Dear Odd,_

_ It feels strange writing this to you… It's been two weeks since we kissed. Well, almost three now… You may never actually read this because my mind isn't made up yet… Right now I'm in my room at the desk. It's Saturday, but almost Sunday. I've been skipping classes… It's just too weird without you guys in them…_

_ I'm going to die, Odd… But this time it'll be my choice… I can't take life any longer. My dad expects me to be son of the year, my grades are the worst they've ever been, and I can't even talk to my best friends anymore… My dad changed everything… He really hates me now… If my mom weren't around I'd have been kicked out already… He loves her enough that her leaving would hurt him. That's what she threatened to do if he kicked me out. Odd, I really wish that night had never happened…_

Odd could feel his heart breaking… Right there, plain as day on the letter was 'I wish that night had never happened…' Ulrich must have thought Odd was insane.. Stupid William… He made a mental note to kill that guy…

Odd knew that Ulrich's Dad could be harsh, but threatening to kick Ulrich out? That was stupid…

_ I barely remember what had started it, though… I wish you were here so you could remind me… Something to do with Theo or William, I think… Wishing that night never happened doesn't mean that I didn't like it… I'm still not sure… I've never felt like this before…_

_ Love is crazy, huh? I mean, I thought I loved Yumi. Now, I'm really not sure… Just thinking about you makes my stomach do back flips and my heart pound faster… It isn't like that for anyone, except for you. Everyone says that love is blind. Why can't it be blind to gender, then? Why can't love be love? Isn't the definition of love something like strong feelings toward someone else? Does it even state a gender? I'm not sure… I don't understand why they have to be so harsh…_

Odd's mind grappled with the new information. Ulrich hadn't not liked the kiss. He'd even thought he might be in love with him!

Being harsh to the different seemed to be human nature. Slavery was a great example. Those people were black, so they weren't as good as the white people. They did work while the rest of the world laid back and used the money those workers had made.

_ If I do die you're going to miss me, right? Really, honestly, and truthfully miss me with all your heart? Wherever dead people go, I know that I'll miss you… I'll miss all of our friends, too… I'm not even sure if I can go through with this…_

_ Life for me is a living __HELL__. I swear that my dad is homophobic… I told my mom and she said that she'd support my decision, but Dad overheard us and started yelling at me. Odd, my own father called me a fag… He then started in about you guys being worthless good-for-nothings that were changing me... He asked Delmas to keep me away from you guys… He told me that I had to tell Delmas I wanted to change rooms and classes because I didn't want to see you guys… My own dad hates me with every fiber of his being…_

Odd couldn't figure out why Ulrich would think that he wouldn't honestly miss him.. He'd had that crush on Ulrich for the longest time… Stupid William. Stupid party. Stupid kids. Stupid decision. Stupid, stupid, stupid! He didn't even remember why Ulrich had insisted they go anyway… Odd had known it was some sort of trap, but he'd gone anyway to make sure that Ulrich didn't get in trouble…

He knew Ulrich's Dad called them good-for-nothings. If he only knew he was calling two of the world's smartest kids good-for-nothings. Odd laughed at the thought. He also knew that Ulrich was probably right about his dad being homophobic. If Odd knew anything about homophobia, and he knew quite a lot, his dad's behavior was definitely classified.

_ I truthfully don't think I can take it anymore… Dad's word is law at my house… Mom tried to change his mind, but couldn't. He refuses to listen to reason. Ever since he found out, he calls every night to yell at me about how horrible my grades are or to tell me that if he finds out I'm dating a guy he'll disown me and I'll have no one to go to… He threatened to kill me once, too…_

Definitely an extreme case of homophobia. Threatening to kill your own kid was a big thing. Mr. Stern probably wasn't even genuinely upset when he found out Ulrich was dead. He had probably been jumping for joy. Odd wished that Mr. Stern was in jail for what he'd done.. He was the reason Ulrich was dead…

_ I'm really afraid, Odd… If I left my parents I'd have nowhere to turn to…_

_ I can't play this game any longer… It's game over… Do you think anyone else will miss me…? I bet Mrs. Hertz will be relieved… She's in on what my dad is doing. She hates me… She yells at me every day whether I behave or not… It doesn't matter… One less bed filled, one less chair taken, one less kid not paying attention…_

_ Love,_

_ Ulrich Stern_

Odd couldn't believe it... Mrs. Hertz, Delmas, and Mr. Stern (no surprise for that one…) had all been reasons for his best friend's suicide..

Odd laid the letter on the floor beside his bed and curled up in his blankets. He fell into a fitful sleep with tears still falling.

(*)(*)(*)(*)The Next Morning (*)(*)(*)(*)

-Aelita-

Recently she'd wake up with tears on her face. Today was no different, so after wiping them away and getting dressed she made her way to Jeremie's room to get him away from his computer and to breakfast.

"G'morning, Aelita," Jeremie greeted her as she opened the door.

"Good morning," she whispered, shocked that Jeremie's computer was off and he was ready to go.

"I want to apologize for yesterday… And for how I've been acting lately. I've been so absorbed with working on Lyoko and I'm sorry…"

"Just please don't do that anymore. I want normal Jeremie around," she told him, kissing his cheek. "I'll meet you in the cafeteria. I have to go make sure that Odd is out of bed."

He nodded and with a slight blush, kissed her cheek.

Aelita smiled and waved as the two went their separate ways.

Getting Odd out of bed would be difficult. She had to wonder if he'd even gotten any sleep. She could tell he'd been upset last night, too.

Opening the door she saw Odd lying on the bed, tangled in the blankets. His face was turned toward the wall and the room was silent.

"Odd, I know you're awake…" she said gently as she walked over to his bed and sat down. "I know it's hard, but you need to get up…"

"I can't Aelita… I can't deal with seeing Delmas or Hertz… I can't…" he whispered, fresh tears falling down his face.

"Why is today different…?"

Odd freed an arm from the blankets and handed her two sheets of paper.

She skimmed over the first few lines then slowed down and read the letter intently. When she finished tears welled up in her eyes and she skimmed over it again. "We have to show the police…"

Odd shook his head and frowned. "It's been a year… We're just kids… They'll think we're lying…"

"We won't know until we try and I'm going down there, with or without you. I want you to come, though…"

(*)(*)(*)(*) A Few Minutes Later – Cafeteria (*)(*)(*)(*)

-Odd-

"The four of us are going to the police station," Aelita stated forcefully as her and Odd sat down for breakfast.

"Why? What happened?" Jeremie asked quickly, looking up from his breakfast.

Aelita nodded to Odd and he handed Jeremie the letter.

"Read the whole thing and don't stop to ask questions," Aelita commanded as she began eating.

Odd couldn't eat. He knew he wouldn't be able to hold it down, so he watched Jeremie's face as he read. He could tell that the genius was upset confused, and angry by the end.

"Was he referring to that party that William held off campus that I told you not to go to?" Jeremie asked looking to Odd.

Odd nodded sadly. "Ulrich begged me to come with him…

He wanted to go just to have some fun… If I'd known that William had planned Ulrich coming as a way to hurt us I would have locked him in a closet to keep him here…"

"What all happened…?" Jeremie asked as Yumi walked up.

Odd's eyes filled with tears and he shook his head. "William's a psycho… We shouldn't have trust him… I-I c-can't re-relive it ag-g-gain…"

"What's going on?" Yumi asked as she sat down next to Odd and comforted him.

"We're cutting class to go to the police station. I'm not sure what they can do, but they need to know all the new stuff we found out... Maybe Odd will tell them what happened at that party and we can see if they have enough evidence against Ulrich's father or William or something," Aelita explained as Jeremie handed Yumi the letter to read.

"We need to talk to that psychiatrist.. If he says that we should take this all to the police then we will. He'd be better able to get the story from Odd, anyway. Plus, we'll have him backing us up on this. The police would listen to an adult more than us. We need a second opinion and to talk to him. The staff and our parents wouldn't know enough to help," Yumi told them once she finished reading the letter.

"Let's go after we finish eating, then," Jeremie agreed.

_**A/N: One more to go and this story will finally be finished. X3 This story should have been done a while ago. XD**_

_** Read and review!**_

_**~MoonlitxAngel**_


	6. Recollection

_**Recollection**_

_** A/N: Not much to say here… It's 12:17 for me right now and I'm not really all that tired. XD**_

_** To the story!**_

__Odd stopped as they made their way to the psychiatrist's office. He couldn't do this... That night… the night that had started all this… He couldn't talk about it… His friends had the note that had been addressed to Odd with them… All he had to do was turn around and run… He couldn't bring himself to do it, though… Someone needed to hear the truth… Something needed to be done…

(*)(*)(*)(*)Break(*)(*)(*)(*)

Odd had given himself a pep-talk as they'd waited in the waiting room. He needed to get everything out. The psychiatrist they saw, Ray, was free for two hours.

"Odd, let's go…" Aelita whispered to him as Ray motioned for them to come back to his office.

He took a shaky breath and followed the others to his office.

"I'm assuming that this is something important since all four of you are here?" Ray asked, intertwining his fingers and resting his chin on them.

"Yeah, there are two things we'd like to discuss…" Yumi told him, putting her hand on her pocket. She wanted to be ready to give him the notes if he needed them.

"I'd like to see how you all have been doing since your last visit. Odd, I haven't seen you in the longest amount of time. You came twice and then stopped," Ray commented, shifting in his seat a little.

"I've been alright…" he lied, avoiding the older man's eyes.

Ray watched Odd for a few seconds before turning to Jeremie and asking him the same question.

"Doing alright, I suppose," he replied. "Yesterday made it on year ago and that was hard on all of us. I know that none of us are all the way alright and probably won't be for a long time."

"It's normal for it to take a long time to heal. We all heal at our own pace and it's especially hard if the person in question was important to you," ray explained as he looked toward Odd again. "Aelita, Yumi, how have you both been?"

"It's getting easier to get myself up in the morning and my parents have stopped fighting as much," Yumi told him, looking toward Aelita.

Aelita bit her bottom lip and looked toward Yumi who nodded at her to speak as Jeremie put his arm over her shoulders.

"Aelita, I know something is bothering you… That memory of the night of William's party is still haunting me… So, I promise to tell if you do," Odd told her, looking at his shoes the whole time. He didn't want to see their expressions… If he did he might chicken out…

Aelita knew how hard telling them about that night would be for Odd… He could barely speak about anything before it happened or a little while after without having to stop and run off… She knew that if Odd could do it she could, too. She took in a deep breath and spoke, "I've been having those nightmares again and they're getting much worse… The night before last they were really bad… I thought about following Ulrich yesterday, but realized how silly that thought was… I know everything will eventually get better…"

"It's good that you realized that. You don't seem to be the type that would give up on life and I don't think you'd fall under being depressed yet. I want to keep it that way, so I want to set-up weekly appointments with you," Ray explained, watching how Aelita reacted.

Aelita nodded and laid her head on Jeremie's shoulder.

"Yumi, can we show Ray the letter to me first?" Odd asked as he tried to keep his shaky voice steady. Remember that night wouldn't be hard, he'd re-lived it in his dreams the night before. It would be talking about it that would be hard. No one except Ulrich, Odd, and William knew what had happened that had caused all this… No one knew that there'd been beer and drugs going through the party… No one else knew the truth…

"Odd? Are you alright? You look kind of pale…" Jeremie asked him, looking at him with concern.

"Y-Yeah… J-Just a little sh-shaky…" he replied, hoping his voice didn't give away how scared he was.

Aelita came over and hugged Odd. "Don't worry, okay? We're all here for you… My nightmares have scared me for the longest time, Odd. I know how hard it can be to talk about what's wrong, but you need to get it out…"

"We're all pretty worried that if you keep what happened to yourself you'll blame yourself for letting whatever happened happen and for letting William get away with whatever he might have gotten away with… We know you're hurting…" Jeremie said, looking at Odd.

"And remember, it wasn't too long ago that we'd found you were cutting yourself. You're a little better than you were when it all first happened, Odd, but honestly you're not better by much. You never told us how long you were cutting yourself and we've held back on telling anyone. You need to get this out. If you don't want us here to hear what happened, we'll understand."

Odd nodded and watched his shoes. He knew Ray was still reading. "Jeremie… Can we tell Ray everything…? Y'know, about Lyoko and all that…?"

"Why?" Jeremie wanted to know Odd's reasoning. Jeremie couldn't find a logical reason for it.

"I'd feel more comfortable at the Factory… I don't know why, but it's like a safe haven for me… He's got to keep everything that we say here confidential unless it's something that can bring us harm and Lyoko isn't dangerous anymore. No one can do anything about us having been to Lyoko in the past, so it should be alright, right?" Odd asked, trying to keep his voice steady. "And if not we can fix it."

"I agree with Odd… We can always run a return trip if we need to and it might help him to talk about that night being there…" Aelita whispered as Ray neared the end.

"Are you sure, Odd?" Jeremie asked, his tone taking on a serious sound.

Odd nodded. "Please Jeremie… I really need this…"

"We could go ahead and turn off the supercomputer so that he doesn't think Xana was still a threat," Yumi stated, giving Odd a small smile.

Jeremie sighed and nodded. "I'm out-numbered so we might as well. Do you think he can make it down the ropes?"

"Jeremie, stop trying to find a way so that he can't," Aelita said gently as Ray put down the paper.

"I think that this letter will give substantial evidence for them to re-open the investigation. They'll have it on record somewhere and they could probably ask some of the school officials, Mr. Delmas and this Mrs. Hertz, about what Mr. Stern did. Pushing this to court might help you all, also," Ray told them. "Now, what were you talking about while I was reading that?"

Jeremie looked over at Odd through the corner of his eye and Odd nodded. "When we came here the first time you asked us to tell you about ourselves. You told us to tell you what we did for fun, who we all hung out with, how close we were, etcetera."

"You then explained to us that it would help you get an accurate representation as to why Ulrich would do something like he did and so that you could figure out the best way to help us. At that time, we weren't ready to tell anyone why the Factory was such a special place to us," Aelita continued for Jeremie, looking toward Odd.

"It's where the five us first became friends… That Factory is what brought us together… Don't get me wrong, we didn't do anything illegal there, but we didn't just hang out there, either…" Odd added.

"If we do show you, you can't tell anyone else about it… Since we all first came together it's been hard for us to ever let anyone in and tell them about the Factory because of what telling them would entitle. There's really nothing about it that you'd need to tell anyone else, but it was back then," Yumi told him.

"I'd prefer not telling anyone at all, not even you. I was out-voted and so we're showing you as long as you promise not to tell," Jeremie stated, looking at Ray.

"You know how this works, correct? As long as this doesn't harm you or you're not harming yourselves then it stays between us," Ray told them as he stood up. "So where are we going?"

"Jeremie and I are going to go ahead. Odd and Yumi can show you the way," Aelita told him as they stood up and stepped out of the room.

(*)(*)(*)(*) Break (*)(*)(*)(*)

"My word…" Ray whistled from the seat in front of the supercomputer. "I see how this would change things significantly…"

"We met after Jeremie found the supercomputer when Xana attacked and Ulrich had to go and save him. Ulrich was brought here and then my dog, Kiwi, was brought here and I followed. Aelita's father is still on the internet somewhere, we think, and Xana's gone," Odd stated. He was proud of what they'd done.

"And you two," Ray stated, indicating Jeremie and Aelita, "You both fully understand all this computer code that's running on the screen?"

They both nodded.

"Aelita and I both reconstructed Lyoko once when it had been destroyed by Xana. Of course, it took us awhile considering the amount of work that needed to be put into it, but we did it," Jeremie told him, smirking at Ray's look of amazement.

"The only reason Jeremie and I aren't in college or something is because we don't want to leave our friends," Aelita told him.

Ray turned the chair around and looked at each of them. "This goes far beyond losing a best friend or lover, then… It goes more into the losing a friend in a war type…"

"We've lost a comrade in arms," Jeremie stated, looking at the computer.

"You're a strong bunch of children…" Ray noted.

"Odd, are you ready to tell us now?" Yumi asked, turning toward the blond.

"I'm never going to be ready, but I'm going to anyway…" he whispered, looking up at the ceiling.

_*_*_*Flashback*_*_*_

_ "Ulrich, let's just go back… We can go do something in the Rec. room at Kadic. I'm getting a really bad feeling about coming here…" Odd told his best friend as they made their way toward the house where the party was being held._

_ "Then go back," Ulrich snapped, turning around to face Odd. "I'm going whether you're there or not."_

_ "Don't be like that, Ulrich… Why can't we just go back? Jeremie told us not to come here and he even said he got a bad feeling about it…" Odd whined, standing in front of Ulrich._

_ "Go back, then, if you're so worried, but I'm going to have some fun," Ulrich stated as they got up to the house. He ran inside before Odd could utter another word._

_ Odd sighed in defeat and went inside. He couldn't see Ulrich, but he knew he was there somewhere and he knew he wouldn't be finding him anytime soon._

_*_*_*Pause*_*_*_

"This really isn't the bad part. I knew that everything that was there, the food and the drinks, were spiked with alcohol or drugs. I could smell something off about it, so I stayed away from that stuff. I knew I wouldn't be finding Ulrich anytime soon, so I just danced. I hung around with some of the other kids there. It wasn't that great, but I knew that Ulrich was probably having fun, so I stayed.

"When it got near time that we needed to leave is when things got bad…" Odd told them as the memory came to the front of his mind.

_*_*_*Flashback*_*_*_

_ Odd looked up at the clock and saw that it was 12:30. Ulrich had told him that they'd leave at 12:40 and so now the search to find Ulrich was on. He probably didn't catch the off smell about the food and drinks, so it was up to Odd to make sure that Ulrich got home okay._

_ He walked upstairs to a small hallway that stood over the floor where just about everyone else was. A few seconds later he spotted Ulrich and was just about to yell out to him when someone grabbed him from behind and threw him in a room behind where he'd been previous. Of course, he screamed when he'd been grabbed. It was a surprise._

_ He felt his way around the room he was in and found it to be a medium-sized closet. He could tell that there were clothes in it._

_ A few minutes later he heard someone outside the door and seconds after he'd made sure he was out of the door's way it was kicked down._

_ "Odd, what have you gotten yourself into?" Ulrich came in and asked. Of course, it was a little slurred and Ulrich wasn't walking straight, but he was at least comprehensible._

_ "I don't know. It's not like I threw __myself__ in the closet. I was grabbed from behind," Odd told Ulrich in a commanding tone as Ulrich walked forward, into the closet._

_ Odd shrunk back into the clothes as someone walked up to the doorway and joined the two. His eyes widened as the person held a gun toward his head._

_ "William, what do you think you're doing?" Ulrich asked, stepping so that he was in between the gun and Odd._

_ "Oh? You didn't know? I thought that he would have told you, being his best friend and all. I should just get rid of both of you and not even bother telling you…" William sneered._

_ Odd came out from the clothes and stood next to Ulrich. "If you killed us, what would you gain?" He was trying to make sure that his voice stayed level. Ulrich had left his phone at school, so Odd called it and put his phone on speaker behind his back. If William did shoot them, they'd have proof that someone could find…_

_ "Yeah William, if you killed me Yumi would eventually find out and she'd hate you. And Jeremie and Aelita wouldn't be too happy, either. They'd make sure that you were put in jail for it," Ulrich stated, trying to sound as confident as Odd._

_ "They'd find a way to make your life a living hell if you tried to lie your way out of it, too," Odd stated, glaring at William. "One way or another justice is always served."_

_ "Are you threatening me, sicko?" William asked, glaring at the blond._

_ "I can't threaten you for someone else, William. Go ahead, shoot us, but I hope you realize that if you kill us, with the last of my strength I'll put you through ten times the amount of pain Ulrich's in. And don't you dare think for one minute that I can't be stronger than you or hurt you just because I'm gay, because you'd be dead wrong," Odd told him through gritted teeth. He saw the look of understanding cross Ulrich's face when he'd said 'gay'._

_ William looked between the two and moved out of their way. "Just get out of my house."_

_ Odd knew this wasn't William's house, but didn't say anything and lead Ulrich outside and back to Kadic. "You're lucky that I'm nice, or you'd be walking to Kadic by yourself." _

_(*)(*)Break(*)(*)_

_ Odd looked up at the ceiling of their dorm room. Ulrich found out he was gay in the worst possible way. It wasn't fair to either of them… It had to be done the hard way…_

_ "Odd, I'm sorry…" Ulrich whispered from his bed._

_ He looked over at his best friend and plastered an ignorant smile on his face. He knew what was coming… "Sorry for what? You didn't do anything."_

_ "Yes I did… I dragged you with me to that party… It's my fault William almost did that to you… I just wanted to go and do something to make me feel normal…" he whispered, looking into Odd's eyes._

_ "What're you taking bout? We are-"_

_ "No we're not and you know that as well as I do, Odd. So, don't like to me…"_

_ "I think you're normal.." Odd whispered, walking over to sit on Ulrich's bed. "No, scratch that… I think you're special."_

_ "Trust me, I'm nothing close to special…"_

_ "I wish you could see yourself as everyone else does. When I look at you I see a strong and powerful samurai. I see how dedicated you are to things that interest you and helping or protecting your friends… I see you for you and anybody would be lucky to have you…"_

_ *_*_*Pause*_*_*_

Odd took a shaky breath and covered his face… Telling the rest would be difficult and his mind and body were screaming at him to run away…

"Do you want to take a walk to calm down?" Ray asked gently, handing Odd another tissue to add to the pile that was next to him.

Odd nodded and made his way to the graveyard and then to Ulrich's grave. Remembering the next part wasn't going to be the hard part of telling it. The hard part would be because this was when Ulrich said that maybe he liked Odd, too… The alcohol had made Ulrich feel really vulnerable…

_*_*_*Flashback*_*_*_

_ "Odd, do you havea crush on me…?" Ulrich asked, sitting up and looking into Odd's eyes._

_ Odd was rendered speechless… The brunet's green eyes were dazzling… "Yeah, I think I do…" He watched Ulrich stare intently at the blanket wrapped around him. Ulrich looked like he was thinking something over…_

_ Seconds later Ulrich looked up and kissed Odd._

_ Odd blushed and seconds after the kiss started, it ended._

_ "I don't know if it's the alcohol or the shock of almost dying or what, but I think I like you too…" Ulrich whispered, not meeting Odd's eyes._

_ "Well sleep on it and let me know when you know, okay?" Odd whispered as he stood up. He knew he wasn't getting any sleep tonight…_

_ Ulrich caught Odd's wrist and whispered, "Stay over here… I don't care if you sleep on the floor or in the bed or wherever, but I don't want to be alone in case William comes back tonight… Please Odd…"_

_ *_*_*End Flashback*_*_*_

"I miss you… I wish that night had never ended… Or that I could have protected you… Whether you liked me or not, we were still best friends…" Odd whispered, looking up to the clouds. He knew he could tell Ray and the other the remainder of the story…

In his heart Odd knew that justice would be served and that all of them would be able to get on with life. He also knew that he'd miss Ulrich with all his heart for as long as he lived…

_**A/N: I guess the outcome of all this is up to you. XD I'm happy because this is the longest chapter that I've written in awhile. ^^ Anyway, what are your ending thoughts on this story? Did you think it was good? =3**_

_** Read and REVIEW! X3**_

_**~MoonlitxAngel**_


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